When Mothering Sucks
Hi sweetheart,
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. One kid was home sick the week before last and last week the whole family got sick while on a trip. You haven’t slept much, taking care of the kids, and haven’t slept near your husband who was also sick since. It's understandable that you miss human touch and feel resentful that you've been taking care of everyone without receiving care in return. It's okay to feel angry and entitled right now. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without trying to change them.
You see, babe, there are times when mothering itself, the act of taking care of others fills your cup and fills you with joy and there are times when it doesn’t. And that is ok!
Take a moment to recognize the need that is not being met. You feel unsupported, maxed out, and lonely. You long for connection.
Pause here and notice how you don’t allow yourself to feel needy and bad. This then show up in not allowing your kids to feel needy or bad. You rush in to fix things. YOU DON’T HAVE TO. The one shared experience of humans is suffering and you have to let yourself suffer without blowing the pain of being away.
Be present in this moment and acknowledge that it is hard. You feel pushed to your limits without anything left to give. It's okay to just sit with this feeling of "suckiness" without forcing it to change.
It's important to recognize the part of you that wants things to be different. Acknowledge that it's okay to feel depleted and uncared for and that it's okay to feel angry. When you don't force the "suckiness" away, your anger will start to relax. This is the KEY - when you are not angry anymore and you let yourself be soft and sad, reaching out for support doesn't come from a place of entitlement and feels much better for everyone involved.
Remember that motherhood and caretaking are difficult, and it's okay to feel like it's not worth it right now. It's important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and let your heart break.
I love you and I'm here for you whenever you need me.
Take care,
V.
